Tag Archives: quandary

Sin (again)

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Jacob wrestles the Angel

I guess I reveal my Church of Christ roots (where the liturgical calendar was not part of my year) when I wait till after Lent to spend time struggling with sin. But, like Jacob-com-Israel, my wrestling is more often determined by encounters that don’t follow a calendar.

Here are the rules of the game for me right now: I have to be as honest as I can be. I have to speak the questions that haunt my soul, even if it seems totally wrong to ask them. Only an honest encounter invites the Spirit. The Spirit can take it and, until I am honest, I am not really in the encounter at all. Continue reading →

Struggling with Sin

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statue of martyr pierced by arrows

 

When I am honest with myself, I struggle with sin.

There are, of course, the daily slights and stumbles; the things I regret, or kick myself for at the end of the day; the first world sins of breaking my diet or going a few miles over the speed limit. Those pester me, but they are really not my struggle.

Continue reading →

Missing the Mark

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archer

If sin is missing the mark,
And I am human
Isn’t missing the mark inevitable?

So, how is that my fault?

 

What if I’ve missed the point
As well as the mark?
What if it is not so much about avoiding sin
As learning from it?

Adjusting my aim
Strengthening my arm
Trying to actually see the target
Amid all the distractions.

Of course, I can still
Shoot myself in the foot.
Not trying is not allowed either –
Else it turns from sin to something else

This can’t be an excuse
Or I’ve missed it, again
And more …
AAAUGH!

Life as a caterpillar is hard
When you are really born to fly
And the crysallis of this life
Binds too sadly tight for complacency.

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[photo P9194059 by Ian MacDonald per cc 2.0]

April Fool

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IMG_1468“So then, lets go.”  The traveler is beside me.  He taps his staff upon the ground. I have my staff in my hand as well, and my pack upon my back.  So we strike out together, toward the wild. He is humming to himself and I am holding my heart tightly in my hand, hoping and hoping not to fear.

We walk for quite a while. We are down the hill into the bramble.  The call is before me and the traveler is striding quickly and I am doing all I can just to keep up. Continue reading →

Revelatory Emotions

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editing documentI must admit that I was a bit taken aback with a phrase in my last post and its implications that I might find God annoying. At such times, I am torn between honesty and the threat of heresy. Somehow, I think that God prefers honesty. In any case … in all cases … I must rest upon that very grace that sometimes seems annoying. Continue reading →

Beyond Definition

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picture of Rabbi

“God is beyond our capacity to define because to define is to limit. God cannot be controlled, and therefore God cannot be defined…” – Rabbi Samuel Karff

As one who feels compelled to think things through, this presents a quandary. I want to understand, to grasp in my mind, to anchor my thoughts with carefully chosen words. Yet those very words which are the tools for understanding betray my intent because they are chosen – carefully – to mean a certain thing. They are always too small. Continue reading →

The Elephant’s Quandary

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elephantsAll the elephants plod along, trunk upon tail, slowly flapping their ears – until – somewhere a goad sets them off. Some ill-mannered driver lets her own angst and anger push the prod too hard. It wakes the elephant, who releases the tail in front of her and trumpets her frustration, suddenly waking to the silliness of it all.

Who said that silly driver is worth listening to? Why should her anger determine the course of the elephants? Why do her desires rule? Continue reading →