Ash Wednesday

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apple bite“Just one small bite,” the serpent says,
“And you will be like God.”
“It is not death, but knowledge you will find.
And knowledge is power, you know.
You will know good and evil – you will be like God.”

That silly bite. Why didn’t I just listen to the words
And not to the seduction? I already knew good . . .

But, Ah! To be like God!
I should have read the fine print.
To be like God, but without the power.
To be like God, but without the wisdom.
How, then, like God?
All I really did was put myself in charge.
Not a very wise choice, given the job description.

So what can I do now?
Only one thing . . . abdicate.
Let God be God and me be me.
The ashes I will wear today.
Are ashes from an apple.

[cropped photo by Patrick McFall per cc 2.0]

the kiss upon my soul

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the shadow of a kiss

 

Jesus’ breath in me is his kiss upon my soul. (Jack Levison)

 

There is a deep vulnerability required of true relationship. I hand you the keys to my heart, knowing that gift gives you the power to bring me low, but also knowing that only that kind of intimacy is the true seal of relationship. Otherwise, we are just playing in the foyer.

You, oh Jesus, maintained that vulnerability all the way to the cross, and then came back and offered yourself again, without reservation. You will not be deterred. Nothing can separate us. (Nothing? Not even my refusal to forgive others; to forgive myself? Will you love me, even through the barriers I create in self-deluded self-defense? I dare hope so.)

So – even when my mind gets me tangled, even when my heart feels cold, even when I just cannot hold on to the intellectual or emotional parts of my faith – even then, I can breathe. And you breathe within me, loving my soul, kissing my soul, till I come back to you. Till I come back to life.

This moment-by-moment intimacy – your breath coming into my lungs; my breath flowing out into the world – this exchange of life … what a miracle. I gratefully relish your kiss upon my soul. (And dare to hope, when breathing stops, to feel the kiss, the deep embrace, as you welcome my soul to its true home, in you.)

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

Amen.

[photo by Jeremy Vandel per cc 2.0]
[This meditation was sparked in response to ‘Day 6’ in Forty Days with the Holy Spirit: Fresh Air for Every Day by Jack Levison.]

What if …

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stump in a green woodI am deep within the woods, encompassed by green and damp and shadow. The quiet hum of nature surrounds me and the path I walk opens up just a bit to a small clearing with a stump in the middle: a forest altar. I have not seen this particular one before, but know their holy purpose.

I bring myself – I bring my heart – into this place and try to let go of the rush of my day and the noise of my encapsulated life. I try to drop the urgency of the routine so that I can be here. Whatever else, a moment’s touch with truth is necessary for my day. There are many layers I have put up around my soul to keep it from this touch, yet the touch is life. Continue reading →

for Larry

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Larry's tree

May you find peace, this day.
May you find the strength for what this day brings.
May your heart rest within the embrace of those who love you.
May your love cradle them in return.
In that palpable exchange of love,
May you find peace, this day.

 

quiet heart

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small flower

Hello, Holy One.
I say your name and smile.
The brush of your presence lifts my heart.

I am softly grateful for a moment of quiet,
For a whisper of love,
For my soul’s anchor buried deep within your heart.

I feel its tug.
My fingers follow the chain, link by link
To the very center of it all.

And there, where the deep surrounds me,
Where I am enveloped by quiet,
I find stillness and peace.

Silence without fidgeting; hope beyond words;
The invasive quiet that comes the moment I release it all into your hands;
For these I am grateful.

This quiet place is the home of my heart.
This deep connection is the essence of being.
I am filled with wonder, with you.

It is only the barest brush with mystery.
Yet it feeds me with a richness that is
Beyond, below, above, within … all.

amen

there be dragons

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dragonAs long as my breath is in me and the spirit of God is in my nostrils, my lips will not speak falsehood, and my tongue will not utter deceit. – Job 27: 3-4

 

‘Honesty is the bare-bones expression of faith.’ – Jack Levison

Honesty.

I admire an honest struggle. Even if the truth you bring to the struggle seems, to me, to be somewhat askew. None of us have a corner on the whole, untattered truth, anyway. But, if we come to the encounter all dressed up in pretense and pretext, we have not really come at all. Continue reading →

hold on (in times of change)

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chaotic storm clouds

This is one of those times when the world is changing so fast that about all we can do is hold on …

Hold on and watch the miracle of new creation,
For we are witnesses to a new reality being born out of chaos.

It is of some comfort that the last creation started with chaos, too.

We hold on in hope … and hope does not disappoint, because even this new world is held in the hands of ultimate, intimate love.

Or, maybe, there is just a bit more we can do. Perhaps we can let go of our own efforts to control, and use our time, instead, to receive and pass on that love.

That we can do – even in the midst of chaos.

[photo by Jo Naylor per cc 2.0]

‘I know you …’

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walking togetherBe still and know …
Be still and know …

I know you …
You are the one who I knit together in your mother’s womb;
Who I have loved from your very beginning.
You are the one I have walked beside each day.
You are the one who (sometimes, when you think to do it) leans into my arms.

You are the one I have called
Into this moment, this day, this place.
You are the one I have gifted
With gifts matched to those of your peers
So that, together, we may love the world.

Be still a moment and know.
Know that I know you.
Know that you can know me;
That figuring it all out is not a prerequisite;
That trust is the first step in knowing.

Take my hand.
Walk with me.
It is in the walking that we will deepen our knowing.
We will make the path as we walk together,
And in the walking, you will know.

So … how can I be still while I am walking?

The stillness comes when you release the outcome into my hands.
The stillness comes when you know, fully know,
That you are not judged by what you do.
Judgment is reserved for the work. The better word is discretion; wisdom.
It’s not that anything goes … but that all is in my hands.

When you are still,
When your heart opens to my whisper,
Then you will know.
You are known.
You are loved, and held, and gifted.
And we are walking, together.

‘The Spirit is the durable presence of God from first breath to last.’ –  Jack Levison

[photo by Thomas Mues per cc 2.0]
[This meditation was sparked in response to ‘Day 4’ in Forty Days with the Holy Spirit: Fresh Air for Every Day by Jack Levison.]

epiphany, defined

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gifts of the wise ones

Epiphany: (noun)
A sudden awakening
A flash of intuition and deeper understanding
An awareness that comes after a long and arduous journey from the east,
Where you first saw the star.
An insight that is accompanied by worship
And the giving of your most precious gifts,
In grateful recognition that there really is hope for the world
And for us all.

[photo, filtered, by Waiting For The Word per cc 2.0]
[reformatted and reposted]

starting 2016

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Can you re-ignite my soul? That’s a venture worthy of 2016.

tiny fireI am in a cold wood. The wind is brutal, but I’ve found a small enclave where the rock and brush surround me close enough to form a shield. I hunker down and hold myself close, burying my head between my knees, leaning back against a large tree. I breathe. Once. Twice. Now a deeper breath. My heart slows a bit. I begin to relax. Continue reading →