Turmoil

clouds in turmoilMy heart has been in turmoil all weekend
Because I want to respond in anger and righteous indignation to a statement that is a clear affront to the loving will of God.

The trouble is, the very statement I want to respond to is a response in anger and righteous indignation to what that writer believes is a clear affront to the will of God.

And I am caught.

Either I respond in a way that mimics what I disdain
Or I find a different response within me – or within You.

I cannot overcome evil with evil, nor anger with anger, nor hate with hate.

Here is where my brothers and sisters at Mother Emmanuel show me the way.
I must forgive, even prior to repentance, and give the matter into your hands.

That does not mean that I have to accept the statement
It does not mean that I should not resist and confront the message and its intent
It does not mean that should not speak

But I cannot start by reaching for the mote in my brother’s eye.
There is a log in my own.

God help me.
God forgive me.
Get me out of this self-righteous flailing.
Help me step into your grace and offer it unfailingly to those I touch.
To all those I touch. That I might receive it as well.

My repentance is not a pre-requisite for God’s forgiveness.
It is a pre-condition of my ability to accept forgiveness and be changed.

6 29 15

[photo by S. Etole per cc 2.0]

2 thoughts on “Turmoil

  1. You have captured the essence of spiritual conundrum and it IS uncomfortable. Suspending judgement is very hard…and, knowing what to say that is congruent is harder. Maybe that is the greatest justification for contemplative silence. Thanks for this post…

    Like

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